Dear Miss Velvet, Like so many others, this pandemic is causing me bouts of emotional turmoil.  Between sustained unemployment and financial instability, home responsibilities, PE relationship expectations, and community involvement, I’m having a difficult time processing all the “things” that are expected of me.  How do I regroup in order to be a better leader, support-person to others, and move on with life accepting the here and now?  My community involvement helps keep me focused, and I know that I need to lead by example. How can I do that when I’m personally struggling myself?  Sincerely, Needs-a-strategy

Dear Needs,

Things are difficult all around right now.  The world has shifted in extraordinary ways, but we continue to try to live our lives as if they haven’t.  One difficult aspect of these times is that we are forced to take a fearless look at what is important to us and adjust our energy expenditures accordingly.  While looking inward to find strength for others is laudable, it is also important to do things to bolster your own resilience. 

Start with small things that give you a feeling of accomplishment.  Make your bed.  Brush your teeth.  Get dressed for the day.  Share encouraging memes, even ones you might not be able to fully embrace yourself.  Spend time outside inhaling peaceful thoughts and exhaling stress and discouragement.  Don’t be afraid of tears when they arise.  Love on your furry friends, if you have them, and absorb their joy of receiving your attention.  Carve out time for activities that feed your soul, even if it’s only 5 minutes. While these things won’t right this topsy-turvy world, they will give small boosts and structure to your day that you might find comforting.

Set aside some time to reflect on your true priorities right now.  Embrace those and recommit at a manageable level.  Additionally, seek opportunities for you to step back and/or for others to step up.  Make a plan to ease those commitments for the time being.  Consider who is in your life who can support you, even as you offer them support, and reach out for a virtual or in person cup of coffee, according to your risk profile.  Finally, give yourself grace to redefine what is expected of you, keeping in mind that your ability to perform is dependent upon where you are emotionally and spiritually at any given time.  Even the strongest among us are somewhat fragile at the moment; sometimes leading by example means acknowledging that reality.