Raising children and growing up in Leather
You may already be familiar with Leather families but on June 28th we were introduced to the concept of children growing up in a Leather family. What is the experience like for them? What is it like to raise your children to walk the Leather path? Fyrehold is Leather family that resides in central Texas and has raised two children who have now grown into adults. One has chosen to begin her Leather journey while the other has not; both are still loved and valued. Perhaps more importantly both have grown into well-adjusted adults.
The presenters included, House Fyrehold; MizLilly, Zap, and their daughter Becca. They were joined by Ms. Cenna and members of her house to teach us their experiences in raising children in Leather. All those presenting wanted to make the point of saying that in their cases they simply offered the information on the Leather lifestyle to their children and if they were interested they would show them. If any of their children were not interested, they would not push this upon them.
The first point to be made is that children growing up in a family that follows Leather receive as much or more love and attention than any other child in another household. MizLilly was the first to say that any children in this lifestyle will be brought up to develop an open mind and an independently thinking brain. These children will understand unconditional love and pass it on to other generations. Being open and honest builds a strong bond that the children will remember and it establishes a mode of trust between child and parent.
According to MizLilly and Zap no subjects were ever taboo when growing up. Some explanations were obviously tailored so that the child could understand. Children will react to what they see and observe. In Ms. Cenna’s case for example, she had a man in service to her doing chores and other things around the house on a weekly basis. When her young boy asked, “Why does that man keep coming over?” She thought about it and simply replied, “Bill? He is helping me getting some work done around the house.” Completely satisfied with that answer he walked off and went back to doing what kids do best.
Becca spoke of her experiences growing up in a Leather family as a child and then as an adult. When asked what was the weirdest thing you ever saw she replied that it wasn’t until she was 13 and she walked in on a rope scene. She was old enough to understand what was going on and decided to turn away. “After that” she remarked, “I remembered to be careful when walking into a room.” “As I steadily grew older,” she continued, “I would ask questions and my parents would explain things in ways I would understand. As a child I remembered there being various people staying or visiting the house and this was normal to me. These people were not strangers; rather they actively tried to spend time with me. As I grew older I realized that my parents were poly and it was important to them that their partners recognize me and my role within the family.”
Many questions were asked about when you tell your children about the lifestyle because they will attend school or other activities and see that things are different. All presenters again agreed that the best time to tell them is when they ask. Don’t be in a rush to explain everything to them. When they have a question they will ask it, and it is important to explain it in a way they will understand. Something that was also mentioned often that mirrors the Leather lifestyle; integrity. They will quickly discover that other kids don’t have the same life. Discretion is important in these situations but never lie! Explain to them that every household is different and that the other kids will have traditions or experiences that are unique to their families.
In closing all presenters wanted to state again that the most important facet of this experience is being open and honest with your kids. There’s no need to ever look at them when they ask a question and say, “No!” They’re your children. Tell them that discretion is needed while they grow up but that always they are loved and valued. If they decide to walk a Leather path, wonderful! If they decide the vanilla path, just as wonderful! Whatever path they choose they will know that they have loving parents who never lied to them and taught them to be honest and honorable adults.